The Joker Report

Greetings all. My name is Matt Tracy. I'm 22 years old, from Connecticut, and studying to be an actuary. Truly exciting. More importantly, I'm a fan of the Green Bay Packers, Detroit Red Wings, and Indiana basketball. I don't care for any other teams in particular. Starting reading Joker's website at the beginning of this college football season and discovered it via Walter's link, and as a compulsive gambler, love both websites for not only gambling advice but actual insight into the games/ comedy. I thought Joker's analysis on both Bama/LSU games were truly outstanding (take notes, haters. ~J), listening to some of the "experts" on ESPN and various other media outlets spew useless statistics and picking overwhelming favorites for the same 3 reasons every week gets real old, real fast. "I can't remember being in such awe of a quarterback in my decade of attending combines and pro days." ESPN's Todd Mcshay on Jamarcus Russell. Schweeeeet analysis dude, not to mention you couldn't have been further off track, dick.

Now for some ranting. I LOVE the packers. I've been out to Lambeau every year since I was 18 (Packers/Saints this year) and this was one of the worst all around Packer performances I've seen in a very long time. '04 divisional at Philly. Up 14-0 after 1, 4th and 26, lose 20-17 in OT. Ugh.

I technically own the team so i get to say "we." First defensively, I thought we actually played pretty well all things considered. Charles Woodson is my favorite Packer but cmon dude. Your better than that. Every time the camera was anywhere near Woodson he was trying to jump routes instead of playing his responsibilities and leaving Giant wide receivers running open all over the field, especially on third downs. Ugh.

I thought Dom Capers called an absolutely horrible game. You wanna know why the Giants threw so many quick balls to the outside? Because Tramon Williams and Sam Shields were playing 10-12 yards off the line scrimmage it seemed like every play. Including 2nd and 3rd and shorts. WHAT IS THAT. It's like Dom said "Ok take 10 yards but don't beat us deep." Problem of course being that in most forms of football, you only need 10 yards for a first down, in case you didn't know Dom. I'd bet you do now.

The other thing was rushing 3 guys on any 2nd and long, 3rd and long situations. The Packers barely get a pass rush when sending 6, what makes you think your going to do anything with 3. Naturally Eli Manning had several decades to find open receivers and convert these situations. Not taking anything away from Eli because he was awesome, but still. Ugh. When they did blitz they got good pressure on Manning and forced some bad throws, this should have been done much more often especially with Desmond Bishop who I believe to be one of the best blitzing middle linebackers in the NFL.

As for the offense. Thank you Aaron Rodgers and wide receivers for having the worst game of the season in the most important game of the season. It's not a hot coal, it's a football, catch it. The Packers dominated both line of scrimmages for a good amount of the game and lost by 17. That's what turnovers do to a team, and why turnovers are BY FAR the most important statistic in football. Look forward to seeing you fellas in Hawaii in a few weeks. "UMADBRO?!?!" Fuckin right I am. What makes this even more depressing is I live an hour away from where the New Jersey Giants play, so as of 6 hours ago, everyone here is now a Giant fan. This week can't go by quick enough. I'll be rooting for the Pats from here on out, since I do technically live in New England. Predictions: Ravens 30 Patriots 27. 49ers 21 Giants 17. An Harbaugh Superbowl and rematch of a game no one watched on Thanksgiving Night. Thanks NFL Network.

And the Giants!

Enough of the depressing! I loved every second of the National Championship, my combined love of Trent Richardson, the Bama defense, and hatrid of all things LSU made the victory extra sweet. Lezzzz be honest, LSU had no business winning the first meeting, then again neither did Bama and their atrocious field goal kicking. I think the championship was more indicatory of how these teams matched up. Alabama's D is SICK and Jordan Jefferson/ Jarrett Lee are absolute garbage. Hence 9 points in 2+ games.

As for the college bowl season, I enjoyed it mainly because I ended up winning the Joker Bowl Challenge. Writing about sports in a sarcastically serious tone has always been a passion of mine, so I'm real happy to have the opportunity to do so here. It's too bad teams like Boise State get robbed of BCS games because they don't play in a "Power Six" conference. Although they start in 2013, they got robbed this year. How do they not get in over the likes of Clemson, Va Tech and West Virginia? Really? Clemson gave up 70!!! to a BIG EAST team running the same play over and over. I thought I was watching a Madden/NCAA game, where the kid runs the same play on every down whether its successful or not. I'm not saying Boise goes in and hands it to Michigan but I'm fairly confident they're better than the likes of VA Tech, Clemson, and WVU.

If I were running the BCS (in my dreams) I think I'd make the regular season a 10 game schedule (excluding championship games) You could have a cupcake game, rivalry game (USC, Notre Dame) and 8 conference games. Throw the independent teams in a conference, they'll get over it. Then have a 16 team playoff. People are going to say that then teams 17, 18 etc. will complain about missing the cut. I feel like once you get down to those teams with 2,3,4 losses, it'd be real hard for them to make a case of playing in the tournament. In case you were wondering the 17,18,19 according to USA Today are VA Tech (3 losses), WVU (3 losses) and Southern Miss (2 losses to Marshall and UAB) Get real fellas, ya don't belong. That isn't exactly an "Alabama/OK State" debate. But just to be clear OK State had no business in the national championship. Call the first round the sweet sixteen, then the final eight you could have the Orange, Fiesta, Sugar, and Rose Bowls. The remaining four would be a national semi final, then a final and third place game. The season would be the same amount of games for teams lucky enough to advance deep in the tournament, and CFB could stretch out the season a little bit more instead of a 2-3 week lull in legitimate games. Also generating more interest in CFB for a longer period of time. I hope the BCS finds this article, implements this idea and I get no credit.

I find my interest in college football growing by the year, perhaps I'll find a favorite team sometime in the near future, not going to a big school couple with the fact that players often only stay for 3 or 4 years make it hard for me to latch onto a specific team for an extended period of time. As for a way to early championship game prediction next year, I think it's gonna be LSU and USC, I know I'm really going out on a limb picking those two teams but LSU is returning so many guys from an already stacked team, and it's not like they can get worse at the Quarterback position. As for USC, same thing. There returning a ton of guys in a PAC 12 that could be down even more next year. So they could very easily run the table. I look forward to returning to this article a year from now and laughing as USC is unranked and LSU is playing in the Southwest Airlines Cheap Airfare bowl or something.

Sorry for the longevity of this article, I find it difficult to relay several thoughts into a constricted space. If you've read this far I truly appreciate you taking the time, I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks again to Joker, I enjoyed this. Now for some weird music, random facts/ thoughts, and hot chicks!

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