The Joker Report

Rounds 3-7 Recap

A little Jesus to get the day started...

ROUND 3 NOTABLES

64 - DET - Kevin Smith.  Not bad.  Remains to be seen how he'll do at the next level.

68 - ATL - Chevis Jackson.  One of my favorite corners.  Dude slipped to the third round?  I just don't get the draft this year.

73 - KC - Jamaal Charles.  A track-speed running back that came from a quality Texas program and did better as he got older?  And can learn under Larry Johnson?  Homerun.

75 - SF - Reggie Smith.  Good athlete, just remember to put him at safety or you'll regret it.

78 - NE - Shawn Crable.  The rich get richer.

81 - ARI - Early Doucet.  Some say he's better than Dwayne Bowe.  Does this mean Anquan Bolden is possibly on his way out?

86 - BAL - Tom Zbikowski.  A bigger, slower version of Don Beebe/Steve Tasker on special teams.

89. HOU - Steve Slaton.  I don't care what the critics say, this guy is better than the last kajillion backs you've tried out.

95. NYG - Mario Manningham.  Yet again, the Super Bowl champs rack up on another big name whose stock fell for probably no GD reason at all.

ROUND 4 NOTABLES

101. STL - Justin King.  Here's the thing.  Justin's coverage = shit.  Justin's athletic ability = elite.  Certain NFL teams can develop a player into his potential.  The Rams, however, have never been synonymous with "great DBs".

118. HOU - Xavier Adibi.  Sick complement to Demeco Ryans and a personal favorite of mine after Ali Highsmith.  Who, for some unbeknownst reason, DID NOT GET DRAFTED.

120. CHI - Craig Steltz.  Hey lookie, the one team who signed Adam Archuleta signed another white boy that can't play DB in the NFL.  The same team that didn't bother drafting a quarterback, either.  Brilliance.

129. NE - Jonathan Wilhite.  I'm stumped with this decision, absolutely miffed.  As I told reader AuJClayton about his favorite DB, the only thing I can see positive out of this is that in the Patriots' scheme, you can practically plug anyone in there at DB and they'll succeed.  Maybe Wilhite's athleticism can be used to their advantage, cuz God knows his coverage and plays on the ball have me shaking my head.

131. PHI - Jack Ikegwuonu. Here the Eagles picked twice the talent at corner as the Pats did above.

ROUND 5 NOTABLES

137. MIN - John David Booty.  IF Tartarsauce Jackson can't get it done this year in Minny, JD "USC has lots of" Booty will be worked into the starting rotation by 2009.  Either way, doesn't hurt to have the Incrediback Peterson opening up the defense for you.

156. PIT - Dennis Dixon.  The Steelers have always enjoyed the "utility" position on the football field, using Hines Ward and Antwan Randle El in various trickery.  The latest guy will be Dixon.

162. NYJ - Erik Ainge.  I'm tempted to claim Ainge might give Matt Ryan a run for his money as best QB in this draft.  He's away from the hideous orange, so I can say with a little bit of comfort now.  Excellent choice to slowly help the Pennington/Clemens train wreck.

165. NYG - Jonathan Goff.  Have the Giants done anything wrong yet?

ROUND 6 NOTABLES

175. TB - Geno Hayes.  I'm still having a hard time understanding how a 6'1 226 pound LB who can FLY fell so far.  Good school, good coaching, good college career, etc.  Good get, Tampa.

197. NE - Bo Ruud.  Yet again, the rich get richer.

198. NYG - Andre Woodson.  I don't know how or why he fell this far.  I'm not a quarterback scout, but I'll tell you this---I was glad Alabama didn't play Kentucky last year.  We'll see if the talent that elicits that silent fear can be groomed under the staff of the latest SB champs.

202. IND - Mike Hart.  Quality guy to a quality program.  This guy will flourish in that system, BET.

ROUND 7 NOTABLES

209. GB - Matt Flynn.  Sigh.  Whatever.

Meh, there are some other names but nobody worth talking about at this point.  A very surprising draft.  I still believe there are people signing in free agency that will ridiculously outplay some who were drafted.  All the Bama players and Ali Highsmith, to name a few.  I'll try to update notable free agent signings over the next few days.

Till then, Bama fans, hang in there.  Just keep thinking Julio, Burton, Tyler, Star, Mark I, Mark B, etc., until you feel better.

Bama's Awesome Draft

But first, a little quote from the ESPN crew in round 6 or 7:

"We have had a player taken from Wheaton and Mt. Union college, but we have not had a player taken from Alabama." ---Trey Wingo, NFL Draft

So that makes you feel fuzzy inside, right?  And as the draft came to a close, we didn't even get a Mr. Irrelevant like Ramzee Robinson got last year.  Nada, zilch, zip.  Last time this happened was in 1970.  19-fucking-70.  You know, the year after the FIRST Woodstock.  When your parents were still bangin' each other.  When pubic hair was cool.  When gas was cheap.  When...okay, you get it.

Kinda makes you wonder just how incredibly inferior we were in regards to talent with Mikey Shula still around.  I mean...it boggles the mind.

But today, 4/28/08, as of whenever the hell in the morning I'm writing this:

Wallace Gilberry signed with the Giants, who basically raped everyone in the draft except Kansas City.

Simeon Castille signed with the Bengals.

Justin Britt also signed with the Bengals.

Matt Caddell signed with the Rams.

DJ Hall signed with nobody.  It makes you wonder.  Is it because he was suspended for the Senior Day game?  Is it because of a bum shoulder?  Is it because of the rumors he, um, "dabbles" in the drug community?  If I were an NFL team, and I saw what this kid did a) in the SEC and b) with JPW throwing him the ball, then I'd have inked him in the third round.

More on the actual draft this afternoon.  And somebody please get Coach a new belt.

***UPDATE***

DJ Hall to Giants

More Draft Day musings

#33 - STL - Donnie Avery - First WR taken in the entire draft.  What.  The.  Fuck.

#35 - KC - Brandon Flowers - BEST CORNERBACK IN THE DRAFT.

#48 and #51 - WAS - Fred Davis and Malcolm Kelly - Add these two to Devin Thomas at pick #34?  Talk about making your quarterback happy.  Kelly was my pick for best WR in the draft.

#7 and #53 - JAX - Derrick Harvey and Quentin Groves - Way to overcompensate for Harvey's hype and draft the same type of player right after him.

#56 - GB - Brian Brohm - Really?  Brohm slipped this far?  To a team where Favre might come back, Rodgers has never been given a chance, AND you go on to take Flynn at #209?  Wtf?

#31 and #63 - NYG - Kenny Phillips and Terell Thomas - Pairing them up with Corey Webster, Sammy Knight, and my favorite corner from last year, Aaron Ross.  Sickness.  I'd move Thomas to safety as I ween Knight into retirement.  But that's just me, and that makes sense, but WHATEVER.

So far Kansas City and the New York Giants have drafted the best in my opinion.  More to come whenever I don't feel so lazy.