Who's been naughty this year? Becks has been naughty this year. In this picture she's telling Santa Clause that she wants me for Christmas, but she's almost too shy to say it. I gotta say, I can't blame her. I'm a huge star down South. Of course, 'star' and 'redneck' are interchangeable sometimes, but you get what I'm puttin' down.
I'm doing something new this week (you don't say?!),and I'm counting on my fellow bloggazeers (professional speak---don't question me) to make me some money. Yes, I will put $100 total of my own real-life-smells-like-pretty-girls cash on these picks---ten bucks on each game. Yep, ol' Jokeroo puts his money where his mouth is. And where other people's mouths are, but we won't get into all that.
By now you've heard the awesome groove I have going, yes no? You may be wondering why, of all the videos in the entire world, I played this one. It's not reflective of a masculine person, nor does it scream out "football site". But you know what, that's why you like this place. You can be comfortable watching weird 80s videos with feathered bangs held perfectly in place with a headband, all the while being mesmerized by the terrible terrible black sequined outfit. Okay, so that's not the best example. At least you can take solace in the fact that Olivia Newton John is hot as balls (or...was), and she's looking at you---yes, YOU---while she serenades about magic and destiny and dreams. I mean come on, name me one other blog that will let random people spend his money while playing 80s tunes and chatting you up on your favorite vice. You can't. O'Doyle fucking rules. Besides, it has nothing to do with the fact that she looks like a chick who I should have pow-pow-power wheeled when she still lived in town a few years ago. Nevermind the fact that I could see it in her eyes and I did nothing like the queer I am, and now she's married with a child somewhere out west. Wait, what? Where are we? Close the door, I don't like you seeing me like this!!!
*uncomfortable silence*
Ahem...the picks will be explained and listed in order so you know what's going on. Some folks will post their article later in the week, which will include their pick for me, so check back here on Friday and Saturday to see the whole list intact and marvel at what a delicious concept this is. Just to make it fun, I won't even tell my blogies (besties?) that I'm using their best bet unless they read this article beforehand. THAT is how much faith I have in my cyber buds. $10 worth of faith. Each. I have an indoor money tree, in case you were wondering. Not as fruitful as the outside ones, but it's useful nonetheless. Kinda like a ficus, except it only produces singles that are glittery and smell like strippers.
Let the show begin--but first, a double dose! Why I didn't think of this beforehand, I'll never know, but Kate AND Cheryl will adorn my loveable blog this week!
Everybody wins! And hopefully my sportsbook account wins, too, because I'll need both these ladies' full allotment of magic to cover these ten risky picks. Did you say Magic? That's what Olivia is singing! Damn you Joker and your BRILLIANT themes!!
1. Joker's 5 Star Pick (3-2 last week) - Central Florida -3 UAB
WIN
2. Racer X's 5 Star Pick (1-4) - GEORGIA TECH -7 (bought 1/2 point) Georgia
LOSS
3. AUJclayton's 5 Star Pick (4-1) - Florida State +24.5 FLORIDA
LOSS
4. Breck's 5 Star Pick (2-3) - Navy -9.5 HAWAII
LOSS
5. Random Female's 5 Star Pick (4-1) - DUKE +4.5 Wake Forest
LOSS
6. Computer System's 5 Star Pick (4-1) - Washington State +26 WASHINGTON (10.33 point differential)
LOSS
7. 5 Star Home Dog at Night Pick (3-2) - KENTUCKY +3 Tennessee
LOSS
8. Chicago Kid's Highest Rated Pick (3-2) - Tennessee -3 KENTUCKY (welp, there goes my chances to make 10 for 10...unless UT wins by a FG, then drinks are on me!)
WIN
9. Walter Football's Highest Rated Pick (2-3) - Notre Dame +10 STANFORD
WIN
10. The Blanket Always Covers Highest Rated Pick (3-2) - Temple -3 OHIO
LOSS
Y'all better bring the funk (and luck), or I'm liable to punch a moose. I sincerely hope everyone enjoys a good holiday with friends and family this week. And don't fret---more Iron Bowl discussion will commence after this post. And be sure to comment on the score prediction post, whenever I decide to put that up. Stay tuned.
Bonus Ashley Greene in a bikini picture! Why? Why the hell not?!
Kate Beckinsale, Cheryl Tweedy, Ashley Greene, and Olivia Newton John. Hottie overload. Let's see if that entices the gambling gods. If not, sorry, I'll have to post pics of David Beckham and Johnny Depp, cuz the gambling gods are clearly women.
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