My Right as a Fan - Bitching and Complaining

"Ya see, this is how my hands feel when I hold a football."

If you have read my site at all, you know I'm not the biggest fan of John Parker Wilson.  I just don't like the guy.  I found out yesterday that we share the same birthday, and that makes him even worse.  Now I know for certain that the magical day of October 17th is the only reason he holds all the Bama QB records.  I knew it had to have been something, you know, other than just being the only option.

I'm sure some will think it's blasphemy that I don't back my beloved Tide's signal caller.  Well, he's not really the signal caller, that would be Jim McElwain.  Well, fair enough, the offensive leader.  Actually our leader on offense is arguably Antoine Caldwell.  Okay fine, you don't back our playmaker.  Ha!  Oh Sandy, don't make me laugh.

See where I'm going with this?  The most important position on offense has been our weakest position for the last three years---and it's been the same damn person.

It really does get old debating whether or not he's a good quarterback or whether or not Greg McElroy is a better passer, but when you hold your breath every time it's a pass play, THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.  And don't act like you don't do it if you're a Bama fan, cuz I find myself having to catch my breath during the running plays.  He has NEVER been comfortable in the pocket, his internal clock is set to 4.5 seconds instead of 3, and his arm was obviously attached from another being when he was born, cuz he simply cannot control it.  He throws the deep ball with comparable touch and flair as Helen Keller.  Except Helen Keller would actually improve with teaching.

Hey, yell at me all you want.  Throw the old sayings at me "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", yeah yeah I get it.  If I listened to that, this would be a rather boring site, don't you think?  It already is, Joker!  Zing!  But the fact of the matter is this entire team hinges on Wilson's performance.  We've gotten away with a lot of wins by simply running the ball over people and showing a strong defensive attack.  But sooner or later, JPW will have to stand in the pocket like a collegiate level quarterback, count to three, then make a snap decision on whether to throw it to the open receiver or throw it out of bounds.  Unfortunately, as simple as that concept seems to be, we won't know which one he'll do, and we won't know where in God's name that throw is going to land.

This is reality, folks.  Unless every other team we face from here on out doesn't force us to throw the ball in crucial situations, then we're in for a rude awakening, and our 7-0 season will be tarnished with the quickness.

Believe it or not, I'm not being that tough on the kid.  You should hear me during the games.  But Nick Saban and McElwain are doing all they can to make sure Wilson doesn't let his efficiently atrophying mental strength get exposed.  They tried a deep ball and it landed 15 yards deeper than expected.  They tried a quick slant to Julio Jones on a makeable third down, and it was behind him.  They tried a simple middle post route to McCoy, and JPW threw it the opposite direction---to the opposite team.  He is constantly fading backwards while lobbing balls with 0% certainty and 100% hope.  That reminds me, I know what JPW is dressing up as for Halloween---a Scarethrow.

If you follow the games like I do, and agree on all the above points, then you firmly believe how good a coach Saban really is.  Just imagine if we had one of those...how you say...quarterbacks?  You know, the ones who have the ability to throw it downfield so you don't have to run it all the time.  Someone who knows what a "second or third read" means.  Someone with confidence.  Someone with a stable arm.  Someone who steps into a throw.  Damn we'd be good.