Joker Smoker Week 10 Pick 'Em

It's Halloween time, my friends.  And this outfit...yeeeeeeeesh.  She's pretty, good body, good legs, knee highs, and she's selling cookies.  (Edit - GREAT body and GREAT legs...don't be a douche, Joker)  Is there anything more you'd rather want now?  If so, I brand you Suckster (FF to 5:00 mark) .  Goodness gracious...I bet she pees rainbows.

(Edit---just changed that link to the correct video in case you were like wtf)

Okay, I'm sticking with my picks.  The only line that makes me nervous is the Miami game, moving a full point in my favor.  I also took out the Iowa State pick, cuz I'm flipping too much to take either side.

***11 games - 10 away teams - 5 underdogs - 1 over/under***

My rationale for this?  I've never thought playing at home matters that much anymore.  There are too many good athletes on both sides of the ball, and the only true hostile enemy territories in my opinion are Autzen Stadium and Tiger Stadium at night.  So throw away home field advantage unless the USC cheerleaders stand on the sidelines or teams start incorporating the Victoria's Secret models into their playbooks.

As for taking more underdogs, I think we're well enough into the season that playbooks have been all but used up, plenty of games have been completed, and gameplanning and scouting are much easier for opponents now.  Well, other than Washington State.  Good gravy they're awful.  But as you'll soon see, there may be an even worse team.

So that said, I give you the challenge and Beckinsale updates, and my week 10 picks:

Kates through Week 9:

5 Beckinsales - 8-4-1
4 Beckinsales - 12-9
3 Beckinsales - 9-12
 2 Beckinsales - 13-14
1 Beckinsales - 6-10

Joker/Walter Challenge as of Week 9:

Walter - 21-14
Joker - 20-14-1

WEEK TEN PICK 'EM:

***2 KATES*** Central Michigan +2.5 INDIANA - Dan LeWhatever is probable to be back from injury, and even though Indiana won last week and is in a "better" conference, relatively speaking of course, I'm not sure they're ready for the passing attack that will rain down on them like hellfire and brimstone.  Well maybe not that bad, but this is the 19th best passing offense in the nation going against the 73rd best passing defense.  Home field advantage be damned.
WIN - Dan must have had a LeFever cuz he still didn't play, though probable.  No matter, the Chippewas TCB against yet another crappy Big Ten team.

***1 KATE***  Miami +2 VIRGINIA (line moved +1) - Like I said above, this one scares me, so I'm only rolling 1 Beckinsale on this.  My presumption is that Miami is slowly coming along under Shannon, they're fighters until the end, they always have the athletes, and had Virginia lost last week, they may not take them as seriously as they will now.  Taking the Canes.
WIN - AL Groh coach of the year, blah blah blah.  Not anymore.  In case you're blind, the Canes and Seminoles are rebuilding, and when they rebuild, they recruit ridiculous athletes who can win close games with sheer physical skill.  Like this one.

***3 KATES***  Missouri -20 BAYLOR - Chase Daniel, even though he's got a little sugar in the tank (aaawkward!), is still a pimp on the football field.  Baylor has been better than expected this year, and the Tigers play better defense at home, but I still think they're playing for something other than pride, and they'll take care of business.  What that something else is, I'm not sure.   A Wham! poster?  Perhaps.
LOSS - MIssouri just can't play defense outside of Columbia.  Remember that.

***3 KATES***  San Diego State +3 WYOMING - Two lousy teams.  In a top heavy conference.  However, San Diego State's pass offense is 53rd.  That's not bad at all.  Wyoming is sitting at 116th.  Wow, that's like Auburn bad.  Even when Wyoming plays to their strength with the 54th best rushing attack, the Aztecs counter with the nation's 11th best rush defense.  Do statistics tell the whole story?  We shall see.
LOSS - Only the 3rd quarter, but I ain't winning this one.  Apparently statistics don't tell the whole story, otherwise geeky engineers would tell us how football is played.

***2 KATES***  Eastern Michigan +17 W. MICH -(line moved -0.5) - I'm always pimping Western Michigan as the quiet moneymakers of the north.  This weekend though, I'm taking a team who apparently hates being beaten by the spread, kicking a meaningless field goal in the 4th quarter last week just to fuck with whoever bet on Ball State.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.
LOSS - Re-read the first line and tell me why I chose EMU.  Damnation.

***4 KATES***  Tennessee/SOUTH CAROLINA - UNDER 37.5 - (UPDATED) Don't know what the under is yet, but these two offenses blow goats compared to their defenses.  I'm not even sure either will score an offensive touchdown.  I'm willing to take anything over 32 here...I can't see the score besting anything more than 17-14.
WIN - Surprised they scored as many as they did.  And wow Tennessee sucks.  I'm not sure if I want fatass to stay around in Knoxville or not.  Thankfully someone else will make that decision for me.

*** 5 KATES***  Oregon +3 CALIFORNIA - This is one of those "huh?" lines.  Personally I think the Ducks have no trouble putting the Bears away.  Oregon lost a close one to an undefeated Boise State team and the mighty Trojans took care of them, but I really don't see California being the third team to beat them.
LOSS - Apparently Cal is better in monsoons.  Who knew.

***4 KATES***  Boise State -20.5 NMSU (line moved -0.5) - I'm taking this one before it slides down another half point.  Boise State always seems to start out slow, making stupid mistakes, and eventually gaining momentum in the second half.  As for New Mexico State...they lost to Idaho.  Who does that?  Nobody, except for Idaho State.  There's an Idaho State you say?  Apparently.
WIN - Man...can I switch my 4 stars for my 5 stars?  That really bothers me this week.  Boise State, in case you haven't noticed, is now 8-0.  I bet I know what their favorite Disney movie is...

***4 KATES***  Texas Christian -14 UNLV (line moved -0.5) - I always feel a little bit better when taking the team with a good defense.  I'd rather have that covering the spread than a good offense.  Ride the Horned Frogs until they fail you, as they're 6-2 ATS and playing solid ball right now.  #1 rush defense, #7 pass efficiency defense, #2 total defense, #2 scoring defense.  That enough for ya?
WIN - I'm not sure if the oddsmakers just aren't paying attention to the "lesser" conference teams or what, but I need to make notes of these easier wins.  You should, too.

*** 3 KATES***  Utah -7.5 NEW MEXICO - The Utes should take care of business here.  They're undefeated and trying their best to be the BCS busters, whereas New Mexico, while fair, only beats who they're supposed to, losing when they're supposed to as well.  Seems too logical for gambling purposes, but fuggit, we're going for it.
LOSS - Who cares, Bama should move to numero uno in the BCS standings tomorrow.  Let's hope we keep it that way.

***5 KATES***  WESTERN KENTUCKY -17 North Texas (line moved -0.5) - Let me just run over some numbers for ya here:

North Texas Mean Green national statistics:

114th scoring offense
99th rushing defense
119th pass efficiency defense
118th total defense
119th scoring defense
111th net punting
110th punt returns
117th kickoff returns
118th turnover margin
118th pass defense
113th sacks

Need I go on?  Need I explain why this is a 5 Beckinsale?
LOSS - When it rains, it pours.  There's no explaining this one.  At least Walter blew it as well.

So there ya have it, the big money is on the Hilltoppers.  Should be another interesting weekend.  Enjoy your women dressing up slutty for Halloween.  If you don't, I know someone who will...

Comments

[Chris Hines]

Glad you threw in that last comment or I was going to have to block your site forever!!