Who's the classiest coach in all of college football? Mr. Seven Fingers, that's who. Does he know that means the number of losses he has this year? Or was he referring to the number of hours to go before he killed his favorite bottle of merlot? And believe me, I have folks on the inside---he loves his merlot. Probably even calls it "murr-lott". What a dumb shit. Seriously. Look at him. I bet he laughs at Indians who kneel to the ground to hear horses coming. He's like "yeah, there's five of 'em, about two miles off. Heard it as clear as your voice. One guy keeps fiddling with his zipper while another keeps singing 'whiskey for my men, beer for my horses'."
Anyway, here's my recap:
Alabama was the male, Auburn was the female. Thaaaaat about does it.
All sources say the Rammer Jammer was the loudest they've ever heard it, and to my knowledge it went on a good three full times.
Stat of the day---9 to 8 ratio. What, pray tell, do I mean? Auburn punted it 9 times, compared to their 8 first downs. Yikes, with a side of gooosh!
Anyway, as I'm watching this game, I'm ignoring a flood of texts. You know, the standard girls who act like they give a shit with their "Roll damn Tide!!" and the pissed off Aubies saying "Hopefully the second half we'll show you what we got." Meanwhile I'm enjoying the fact that the Tigers' simple minds focused all their efforts into stopping the run left, while we pound them on the right time and time again. I also enjoy the fact that our backup quarterback threw a bullseye to Maze, confirming what I've known for years. No sense getting into that right now though.
So now...what do we think of Florida? Well, if you read my site religiously (as you should), you would know I've commented a few times that before this season I had picked OU and UF to be playing in the Big Shabang. I certainly am on the right path, but I am officially hoping I'm wrong. The Gators clash with the Tide this Saturday, and I don't know what to think of it.
Last I checked, Bama was an 8.5 point underdog. I think---scratch that, I know---that most of the country thinks Florida will not only take us to the woodshed, they'll knock the woodshed down and beat us with the vintage wood planks until we beg for mercy. However, as most Bama fans remember, Mike "deer in headlights" Shula and Joe "let's pretend I don't work at Texas A&M" Kines both managed to dismantle the Gators 31-3 or something back in 2005. All with a very similar fanfare, hype, and "scary" Meyer offense.
Do we match up well? Well hell yeah we do. It all starts in the trenches, and the team that beat them, Ole Miss, had the big uglies to hang with us as well. That's our advantage. Another advantage is our power running game, keeping Tim "Jesus H Jiminy, we get it Gary Danielson, you love this guy and want to make babies with him" Tebow off the field. Another advantage may be the ankle injury to Percy Harvin, possibly holding him out of the whole contest. Or that could just be a clever ruse on Urban's part, having him come hobbling in in the 4th quarter to take the winning double reverse in for the game winner. Don't act like he wouldn't do something like that. We got shady characters in the SEC with Miles, Urban, and that greasy bastard with seven *now broken* fingers.
So it comes down to my gut feeling, and I gotta admit, we have the ability to take Florida out. It's a "team-first" team versus a "speed-first" team, with an overly Christian, overly confident, overly virtuous quarterback who, in my opinion, needs to get jacked in the mouth on a strong safety blitz by one Mr. Justin Woodall. But the Gators have been rocking and rolling ever since the Rebel loss, and I'm not sure we can derail that freight train. Although if anybody should be trying, it's Bama.
In the meantime, I suggest everyone in the Crimson locker room keep watching this video until they can't feel anymore pain. Works for me; I've been punching fluffy pillows half the day I'm so damn pumped up.
Stay tuned for next week's Pick Em. I'll do my best to not completely tank like the Tigers again.
Oh, here's a hot chick while you wait (btw--good LORD)...
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