Had to cuss in the title, didn't ya? You couldn't make dropping the sailor mouth as one of your resolutions? That Joker chaps my ass sometimes, I swear. Seriously, I hope everyone was safe, got some tail, and got home in one piece. 2011 will be a good year, even though I'm not sure how to say it yet. Twenty eleven? Two thousand eleven? Two zero one one?
So how about that ol' Capital One bowl game? It's not very often that my brother-in-law and I both kinda mutter I think we'll beat the shit out of 'em, but we did...and we did. By the way, with as agonizing as it was watching him hold on to the ball during certain times this year, those of you out there who would refuse a quarterback going 24-3 over two years are kidding yourselves. Greg McElroy is probably akin to Jay Barker in the future of Bama fans' minds; once someone brings up the name, you can't help but follow with "well he may not have been ______, but he gave us a ring." Hard to argue with that. Although I'll admit, every time I hear the ring argument, visions of Dan Marino's failure to ever get one dance through my head. Marino can't catch a break; never had the running back, nor the defense, and now he doesn't even have the stat records cuz of Favre's unwillingness to hang 'em up.
Anyway, in his final game, Mark Ingram surpassed Shaun Alexander's TD mark, giving Alabama a new all-time leader at 42. I'm not sure how I feel about that, as "SU" is one of my favorites. I'm kinda fierce about protecting the players I love (yeah we know - does the above paragraph ring a bell?), but in this case, it makes sense that our very first Heisman winner have the stats to back it, as well. Congratulations to both Greg and Mark - we're going to miss you.
That brings up a question that will remain tentatively unaswered - who else is leaving? Is Julio Jones going to seek gobs of cash to help out his family, or will he listen to mama and get his degree? From all accounts, JJ is a different kind of cat, so ruling him out to return would be a mistake. The NFL lockout may have something to say about this, as well. If I had to guess, I'd peg Julio as a goner. It's just too much money to turn down, no matter what events are happening in your life. I'm hearing Marcell Dareus is "gonezo" from my insider, and from piecing the clues together, it looks like Dont'a Hightower and Mark Barron may be returning. Do you realize what that means?
Assuming Courtney Upshaw listens to Coach Saban about not entering the draft unless assured of a first round selection, that means our defense for next year - my mind is saying holyshitholyshitholyshit before I even type this - has this talent pool to choose from:
5* Jerrell Harris
5* Nico Johnson
5* Dre Kirkpatrick
5* Demarcus Milliner
5* Hasean Clinton-Dix
4* Jesse Williams
4* Luther Davis
4* Darrington Sentimore
4* Glenn Harbin
4* William Ming
4* Kerry Murphy
4* Dont'a Hightower
4* Adrian Hubbard
4* Robby Green
4* Chris Jordan
4* CJ Mosley
4* Tana Patrick
4* Ed Stinson
4* Courtney Upshaw
4* Alex Watkins
4* Mark Barron
4* John Fulton
4* Phelon Jones
4* Robert Lester
4* Kendall Kelly
4* Dequan Menzie
4* Nick Perry
4* Blake Sims (should play offense)
4* Jarrick Williams
4* Shannon Brown
4* Trey DePriest
4* Quinton Dial
4* LaMichael Fanning
4* Chris Jones
4* DJ Pettway
4* Alfy HIll (we all hope)
3* Undra Billingsley
3* Josh Chapman
3* Brandon Ivory
3* Damion Square
3* Nick Gentry
3* Chris Bonds
3* Brandon Lewis
3* Anthony Orr
3* Jonathan Atchison
3* Petey Smith
3* Chavis Williams
3* Wesley Neighbors
3* Vinnie Sunseri
3* Deion Belue
W/O Will Lowery
Dude, that's video game silly, and more incoming freshmen will be added to that list. Assuming nobody snatches Kirby Smart from us this offseason, we should yield one of the most ridiculous defenses seen in recent memory. I'm not even making that up, and no I'm not getting ahead of myself. The hit we took this year with inexperience is given back in spades by the (probable) return of Dont'a, Barron, and Upshaw - not to mention a very pissed off Robby Green, who had to sit the year cuz of weed. If all college kids had to sit the year because of smoking weed, we'd have two teams in the FBS - BYU and a depleted Utah. Add in the fact that the coaches and players are now angered at seeing how well we can actually play as a team, and if they put in the work this summer...sickdiculous things can happen next season. Yes it sucks to be talking about next season already while Auburn preps for the big game, but that's parity and that's college football.
Speaking of, how do I think the BCSCG will go down? I think there is a force in this world that sleeps...I don't know what you could call it, but it stays in hibernation mode until so much shit-talking and overconfidence wakes it from his slumber. This force will then arise from his bed, papa bear style, and fuck up people's expectations. This will happen on January 10th.
Fine, go ahead and say of coooourse the Bama guy doesn't expect Auburn to win. He hates us, he only gives his own team credit, wah wah wah. That is not true - not only do I give Auburn credit, as well as Cam and Fairley - but I let my annoying ass cousin spit all his Auburn propaganda on my site just to give the Auburn readers a sense of belonging. And by the way, props to them for patronizing my site even though it's mostly all things Alabama. It would be very difficult for me, as an Alabama fan, to do the same for an Auburn blog. Although if my friends started an AU blog, I'd read it religiously in support.
That being said, my REAL thoughts on this game. We, as the SEC, don't really know (or care) about the Pac 10. Sure we've seen some Oregon games - maybe two if we're honest - but I don't think people understand how effing good they are. The main story here, in my my humble opinion, is whether Auburn's luck continues to coast, or it finally hits the wall. Hence the hibernating monster theory.
I've maybe heard ONE person give Oregon a shot at winning this game. That is lethal to karma, or the force I keep bringing up. If you don't stay humble as a fan base, other things will be set in motion to make you lose. I honestly believe that. It's like somebody in the sky is watching and keeping tally of all the smack the orange and blue are saying, and waiting for it to hit the high-water mark that warrants the action of the monster force. Again, the force will be awakened, and he will smack the Tigers in the mouth.
Chip Kelly can EASILY take Nick Fairley out of this game. Oregon football is built on the same shit I curse other spread teams for doing, aka misdirection, sweeps, bubble screens, trick plays, etc. He has had over a month to show Darron Thomas how to audible around wherever Fairley lines up. Couple that with the ***ridiculous*** speed of the Oregon offense, the terrible Auburn defense coached by a terrible DC Ted "Holes All Up In My" Roof, and the pace at which Kelly clicks off plays, and the Tigers will be taking early timeouts just to get their breath back.
That's all fine and dandy, but how does Oregon's defense stop Cam Newton? They can't. But this is where I feel like Auburn's luck will run out. With however many carries as Cam has had this year, he's lost what, one fumble? He hasn't gotten banged up or rolled an ankle or even been hit in an odd fashion, all part of the college game. When Auburn doesn't have that luck on their side - which all championship teams do - then they will start to show chinks in their armor, and the Ducks will capitalize. Let's not forget that, with as many times as Oregon scores and gives their opponent that many more chances to score, they are still 12th in the nation in scoring defense. Their turnover margin is 7th in the nation, their punt return squad is the BEST in the nation along with their total and scoring offense. Even though they play in the Pac 10, these are not flukey numbers one can simply dismiss.
I think inherent ignorance of UO's season from the casual observer is the biggest problem leading to all the assumptions that Auburn rolls next Monday. Alabama, with their "game manager" quarterback and has-been Heisman obliterated the Tigers...until they got all cocky and sat on the lead. Keep in mind that "got all cocky" part - there's the full circle. Now I'm not saying I'll be 100% correct in my assumption, but do you remember when Ohio State thought they would roll Florida? When Oklahoma thought they would trounce LSU? USC over Texas, it goes on and on.
My prediction: Oregon 52 - Auburn 37.
The above is my tiebreaker for the College Bowl Pick 'Em, which I have yet to address. Last season we had 40-something teams...this year, 119. It's like we're the FBS, and we're all competing in the bowls to see who comes out on top. Isn't that neato?! But seriously, that's awesome to have so many guys and girls competing. And so far, Grauel is on top. Vacation System, Ohio Gator, Joker, and Kentlys Raiders round out the Top 5. If i were a betting man - and I am - I would bet those top 5 will change by season's end. Nothing is for certain in college football, boys. Good luck, and let's hope I can stay near the top to keep my reppy rep in place.
Lessee, what have I forgotten? Oh, who's down for some pretty women? Of course you are. Stay tuned for Auburn fan posts and comments, as I'm sure they want a chance to argue for their team/say how physical they are/laugh at the 52 I put for Oregon, etc. I stand by my prediction though, so mouth off boys, cuz as always...
And some ridiculously hot web cam girl named Bertha Nieves. I mean Joker girl gorgeous, people:
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Google around for the rest of her pics. You're welcome. Holla back now.
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