So 90% of the time I'm in my work truck I listen to 80s on 8, and that Loverboy band comes on a pretty good bit. That Working for the Weekend song is okay, I'd usually turn it, but this last time an image stuck in my head and I could not stop laughing. Thanks to youtube, you can now see what I see when I hear that song.
And let's not kid ourselves on why I watched that movie, because it wasn't for Adam Sandler...
IRON BOWL- Before I post anything about the Tide or Tigers, let's take a look back at everybody's favorite and impartial writer, Phillip Marshall of Auburn Undercover, and his preseason look into the SEC (I'll just paste the fun stuff):
Best in the West - Arkansas
His ballot for West - Ark, LSU, Auburn, Alabama, State, Ole Miss
Most Underrated in West - Auburn
Best Returning Offensive Player - Says Dyer first (nuh uh!), then names Lattimore and Jeffrey. Gee, wonder who he missed (read: avoided).
Best Returning Defensive Player - And I quote, "Alabama safety Mark Barron. If you look around the league, there were lots of player losses on defense."
THIS, my friends, is why we call them little brother. Unbelievable how butthurt some of their fans and apparently writers are. They can feel it in their hair follicles if they even consider giving Alabama props...for anything. This is coming from a "professional" writer whose team just won a national championship and third Heisman trophy winner. Ha...don't expect to hear or feel any love for Trent in the Heisman race from his camp.
That said, I could text my buddy AUJclayton and he'll be the first to give Trent love (I would hope). 2AUdacious, eh, not so much. Does it matter that Richardson is the first running back in SEC HISTORY to rush for 20 TDs in a season? It should. Cam and Tebow both rushed for 20+ and threw for more, and they have Heismans. Bo Jackson and Herschel Walker never ran for 20 TDs in a year, and they have Heismans. 203 yards, a career best, against his arch rival? HASN'T LOST A FUMBLE ALL YEAR?! 169 total yards against the nation's #1 team? Is any of this Heisman-worthy? That's not for me to judge, so back on topic...
Let's go over Auburn's stats from the Iron Bowl:
Leading passer: Mosley 11/18 for 62 yards.
Leading rusher: Dyer 13 rushes, 48 yards.
Leading receiver: Bray 5 recs, 22 yards.
All in all, 140 total yards and 0 points. In other words, Demarcus Milliner 6, Auburn Offense 0.
And ya know, come to think about it, after our victory our Heisman candidate didn't put his hand on his mouth and run around the place like an idiot. Nope, Trent just smiles, chest bumps with Big Al...
...and walks into the tunnel with his teammates. Meanwhile, Trooper Taylor just can't help running his mouth to an opposing player:
Such is life on the plains; if it's not a player, it's a coach. Now they have to figure out if Malzahn is still a magician (or if his wife sucks the spirit out of him every day) and worth keeping, if Ted Roof could suck more if given a chance, is this whole season one of hope for next year (aka loser mentality) or a chance to look themselves in the mirror and knock off all the bullshit (aka winner mentality). I'll say it again, get rid of Roof, whether it's Chizik's defense or not. There is too much talent on that team to have ranks like these at the end of November:
Total Defense - 78
Scoring Defense - 79
Pass Efficiency Defense - 85
Rushing Defense - 99
Meanwhile, Alabama is ranked #1 in every single one of those categories. How many years (in a row) is Auburn going to settle for shit numbers like that? The quicker you stop pretending Cam didn't do it all himself, the better off you'll be. Look what he's doing in the pros! He's going to shatter rookie records and probably run away with rookie MVP. Face facts, hire competent coaches, drop the stupid "All In" slogans, get your players to buy into a TEAM system, come back with a vengeance, and let's have a healthy rivalry like we used...well...let's have a funner rivalry than things have been lately. Deal? Good. Now you better win your bowl game and rep the SEC like a big boy. Cue the segue...
BOWL PICK EM - It's that time of the year again, fellas and gals. We had 119 (i think) people last season all vying for the top spot, and who won again? It was that one guy...really good looking, heart of gold, hit with the ladies...
...that's right, THIS GUY. 118 of you fuckers failed to knock me and my ego off of our rightful perch, overlooking you peons and peasants. Just as Ohio Gator has reclaimed his lofty throne this season in College Fantasy - kudos my man - I shall now follow his lead in defense of my Bowl Pick Em. Granted, mine has a whole helluva lot more obstacles in the way, especially if we somehow get 119 people to play again this year.
For those who don't know how to play, all you do is pick the winner and rank each of those 35 winners by the confidence you have in them, from 1-35. It sounds easy, but mother of pearl - it's not. Last year Blanket and I shared the seasonal Pick Em trophy; he got the most number of picks correct, I got the most number of units won, so I was on my game. This year, however, I am dogshit with my picks, so I'll need all the luck I can get. GO HERE AND SIGN UP. And we segue once again...
PICK EM - We have one more true week to go to see who claims the top spot in 2011 Pick Em, although it's not a full week, so more than likely picks will overlap. This is where we find who has the cajones to be the top dog, and see if I can manage to go 0-5 and be the worst picker in history. I apologize for getting 60% correct last week - completely not my intent. Well, I am still trying, but I'm so beat down and deflated I could be an Auburn fan. Thankfully though, I'm not. Okay okay, enough digs at the downtrodden. Updated tally, please suh:
...whenever I feel like adding shit up I'll put it here...
Can we show some ass to break up all these words? Thanks.
NEW HIRE - Urban Meyer aka Urban Cryer aka Urban Liar did what we all knew he would do. Nick Saban made his ass quit, he saw the writing on the wall once the golden child Tim Tebow left, and Meyer retired from coaching football to be "closer to his family". Since then, he's been on TV as much as he possibly could, traveling anywhere ESPN tells him to go. Wait, I thought darling Nikki was his family, not ESPN?! Oh, that's right, he's completely full of shit and always has been. Now today it's official that he has taken the job at THE Ohio State University. My ho-hum-since-Woodson Michigan fandom has now been ratcheted up a couple notches. Urban will bring in recruits from all over the eastern half of the United States; don't kid yourself, yankees - when you see those Florida athletes on YOUR team, then you'll start to understand SEC speed. Not only that, he'll run his spread offense through a much-improved (to my eyes) Braxton Miller to START his OSU career, so he'll be a thorn in Michigan's side for...well, until his heart starts hurting or whatever other bullshit comes out next time he loses a big game. I'm betting on polio. Speaking of...
BOARDWALK EMPIRE - I am unbelievably sick of seeing Margaret on this show. She does nothing for the overall story anymore - she just gets in Nucky's way, cries all the time, and she's even cheating on him. I hate it for her little girl (re: Polio reference), but GTFO already, and stop slapping your son!
Best part of last night's show? The Butcher doing away with Jimmy's wife. All she did was cheat, too, and she got a bullet to the head for it. Well, not for it, but karma is a cruel mistress. And Jimmy, as I'm sure we all predicted, can't do shit without Nucky, and has gone soft with power. Ain't gonna last, Darmody. Did you leave town scared, or are you genuinely trying to find new avenues for whisky?
Every - single - second when Arnold Rothstein is on screen, the show is instantly better. He's by FAR the cleverest of the bunch, as even Nucky seeks his wisdom; but his quiet confidence is such a joy to watch in this old school mobster type of vibe. Everybody has to shoot, whack a guy with a cleaver, beat ass with billy clubs (which are all awesome, don't get me wrong)...yet Rothstein will raise a brow or throw a smirk, and when he wants something, he'll get it done. Pretty soon, though, Al and Lucky are going to undercut him - that's when I want to see Roth throw down Corleone style.
MISCELLANEOUS - Last but not least, try to watch this without getting a little misty-eyed. It's like listening to your grandfather showing his vulnerability for the first and only time in his life. I'm out for now, Sebastian's up next.
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