Disclaimer - Pay attention fuckwads. I will put this atop every guest writer's article in the hopes that you will truly understand that the words being said in the following article are NOT my words, even though some may end up being true. So if you have a problem with anything being said or any grammatical mistakes or spelling errors, direct it toward him/her, not me, or I will bring the Joker wrath. And you and I both know you don't want that. And if you do, as Hank the Dwarf so eloquently quipped..."Your mutha."
A
chance to compete against Racer X...how could I pass this up? If he has researched his picks half as much
as he has researched Auburn football, then this should be both interesting and
entertaining.
I am going to lead off with a little
humility, a large change of pace from my competitor's rant. I will concede that the infamous and
opinionated Racer X does know his football.
This is very evident in his ramblings on Auburn football. Not only does he reference the surface data,
but he goes deeper to the info that does a great job of making his point but
means nothing when it comes to actually talking about what the Auburn Tigers
are capable, or not capable of accomplishing.
Keep up the good work.
I find it very interesting that you
claim to be such a fan of the SEC, the conference as a whole, yet all you are
willing to talk about is your disgust for SEC teams, i.e. Auburn, and Ole Miss,
as referenced in your picks article. The
interesting twist here is that I too am a fan of the SEC. But somehow, my fan hood seems to be a world
away from yours. I am at a slight
disadvantage in this battle of words due to the fact that your ENTIRE rant was
about Auburn and Auburn's fan base. Then
you proceed to say that if you had a team, it would be Alabama. Really?
You love the SEC but you don't actually have a team that you call your
own. Ok.
That makes sense. I think that all the readers stopped taking
you seriously right there. But moving
back to my point; the natural direction for me to take would be to respond, in
kind, with a hate rant about Alabama and their fan base, right? Seeing as how that is really all you did. For starters, you are not even a real Bama fan,
and this is evidenced by the fact that for all of your knowledge about Auburn,
you seem to have nothing to say about Alabama football. But you wouldn’t get that out of me anyway due
to the fact that I have a lot of respect for the Alabama football program, what
this year's team is in the process of accomplishing, and even the Alabama fans
that I know and associate with.
Enter Racer X. And I have to admit, you have made an
impression. So far, you are the only
thing about Alabama and their fans that just disgusts me. Anyone who deals in pure negativity and
disdain is generally someone that most people stay away from. But you have been forced on me so we will
carry on. On top of this, I am smart
enough to realize that just because you are a moron, and an Auburn hater, it
does not mean that all Alabama fans think and act like this. You should take notes here, Gacer.
You refer to me directly in the first
part of your post, then changeover in the middle and start referring to the
Auburn fan base as a whole.
Example: "That day is
coming, Auburn fans. You can prepare for it, or you can keep rolling your
trees, saying that Darvin Adams is better than Julio Jones and AJ Green, and
preparing for your December in Atlanta. Your chAUice." Who said that? What Auburn fans? Are you insinuating that I said these
things, or are you, once again, just rambling?
Try to stay on topic next time.
As for your assertion that because Auburn has won 4 games us fans feel
like we have "made it." Come
on. Auburn nation is just happy to be
winning. I think that if you take a few
random Auburn extremists on whatever boards you write and read on, and then
claim in your posts that the opinions of the few represent the opinions of us
all then you are not only stupid and small minded, but you are making a harsh over
calculation of how the Auburn nation feels.
I have a suggestion. How about
you stop pretending like you have your finger on the pulse of the Auburn nation
and just admit that you formulate your opinion based on the comments of a few
extreme fans that no team likes to claim.
Don’t act like the Bama nation doesn’t have them too. Even knowing that, I am not attacking you as
though you are all of the extremist idiots that I have seen posting on Bama and
Auburn boards, but it is more than clear at this juncture that you and I are
very different types of fans.
This is a quote of yours that I find
particularly interesting on a few levels.
Racer x states- "You're one game ahead of schedule and you're
suddenly declaring yourself contenders. Auburn, you're not a contender. Your
defense is Swiss cheeznik. You haven't
scored a single big time recruit that Tuberville would not have gotten (Owens
is a legacy). You haven't beaten anyone. You really haven't done anything. You
ran up some points on a Mississippi State team that will probably only win one
more game this season." Auburn has
not lost a game. What team/ fan base
wouldn't feel good about that? Our
defense is not the team's strong suit. No
arguing that. We have to correct
tackling issues, no doubt. But let us
take the Ball St. game for an example.
Auburn allowed 30 points and this is where you really try to make your
point about how bad our D is. Funny
thing about that is our D only allowed 260 total yards to Ball St. The D was not the problem in that game. It was our special teams. When we give the opposing team the ball
inside our 30 multiple times due to botched fake punts, fumbled punts and
horrible tackling on kickoff coverage, any team is going to get easy
points. Including Ball St. Take 17 of those points off the board if we
don't make those special teams mistakes and then you have no point at all. Just saying, if you are going to analyze
something, maybe you should actually get to the root of the problem and not
just spit out a catchy phrase to impress Joker.
Kiss ass. You could actually go
back to all 4 games that AU has played this year and connect the dots from AU
special teams miscues to points for the other team. Again, look a little closer Mr. Know-it-all. Ok, now to use some of your own clever
misdirection to prove my point. That
terrible Miss. St. team that you referred to...that team that we
dominated. That is the same team that
came within 4 inches of beating now #4 LSU.
SO what does that say about Auburn's potential? I am sure you will have some bullshit to blow
back on that one. You always do.
As for the recruiting, for the most part I
will let the results do the talking for me this year. It may take a few weeks, maybe a couple of
months, but you will eat your words on that topic and I think that you know
it. That would explain why this topic
bothers you so much. I will make a few points
on this topic just to fuel the fire.
Ladarius Owens is a legacy, but that doesn’t take away from the fact
that he IS a big time recruit. If
Alabama would have gotten him, he sure would have been referred to as a big
time recruit, but I digress. I find it laughable that you apparently don’t
consider Jeremy Richardson, a 4 star and the best WR in the state of Alabama, a
big time recruit, but I can’t act surprised. After all, Alabama was recruiting him very
hard for a reason, don’t you think? Or,
once again, do you just ignore his skill because he didn’t choose Alabama? What will you say when we land M. Dyer? What about T. Reed? Heaven forbid we get the threesome of
Seastrunk, Reed, and Dixon or any of them for that matter. How about when Mack comes to us after
decommitting from SC? What about Ed
Christian, OT who just decommitted from FSU after a visit to the plains and
plans to announce his new commitment while on an official visit to Auburn’s
campus in two weeks. Need I remind you
that M. Lattimore has eliminated Alabama from his list, yet in his top three,
Auburn remains? And what do you have to
say about Michael Thornton and Jeffrey Whitaker? Two top tier DTs who both have Auburn at the
top of their list. We will get at least
one if not both. I could go on about
this year’s recruiting as these have just been a few examples, but let us move
on to last year’s recruiting just so I can point out your idiocy once again. You mean to tell me that Auburn landing
Deangelo Benton, Emory Blake, and Tyrik Rollison ON
SIGNING DAY in the midst of a questionable coaching change is not an
accomplishment. Please. Allow me to point out that we had no shot at
these recruits when Tubs was at the helm and that makes you wrong again. We have a developing theme here and it is
even more predictable than an M. Night Shymalammadingdong plot twist. Add to that list Dontae Aycock and Nick Fairly
and that alone is impressive enough given the circumstances. As a matter of fact, last year’s class was a very solid class from
top to bottom, and was ranked the 19th
best class in the nation by Rivals.com, all accomplished through
adversity. Auburn’s 2010 recruiting
class is currently ranked #23 in the nation, and there is a lot of recruiting
left. But you just keep on preaching
your BS. Someone will believe it.
Enough about you. I do believe that you and your point of view
are about as played out as the for mentioned M. Night Shymalamma’s movies. And, unfortunately, like M. Night, you will
probably keep producing material even though no one wants to see it. It is particularly
ridiculous when you consider that the only thing that I did to attract your
disdain was to be optimistic about a team that I actually have the balls to
call MY team. Maybe I have inspired you
to grow a pair.
I could not help but laugh out loud at
your over-confidence in this battle of pick-ems. Now go back to banging Speed
Racer in the ass while I show you how this is done. On to my picks.
Like my cohort, I have no real formula
for success in pick’em. But I do feel as
though I am pretty good at it. The
results will speak for themselves. For
my units, I would go with Mila Kunis, but having to say 4 Kunis’ just sounds
funny when said aloud. So, I am rolling
with Kristen Kreuk. This hotty caught my
eye a long time ago, but is still something special. She is very little known as her acting skills are not
the best, but she is smokin’! These are
the five games that I have selected.
Houston
-16.5 v Texas El Paso *I believe that Houston is a pretty good football team,
and not just
OHIO
v. Bowling Green -2.5 * I think that Ohio will surprise some
people that aren’t familiar with
them. They are not the best team but
they are better than Bowling Green. I
think that Ohio wins outright. 1 Kreuk.
Central
Michigan -8.5 v Buffalo *I
will keep this one simple. Central
Michigan covers. 2 Kreuks.
Virginia
Tech -16.5 v Duke *Duke is no match for
Va. Tech. Virginia Tech is superior in
every phase of the game and should cover easily. 5
Kreuks.
AUBURN
v Tennessee -2 *If
this pick is not appropriate for this competition, I don’t know what is. Auburn’s high powered offense against Tenny’s
high powered defense. This game is also
being played at one of the toughest venues in college football. I will be the first to admit that
Tennessee’s running game should give the Auburn defense some problems, and
Tenny’s defense could give the Tiger
offense some problems initially, but in a game like this, I believe that the
best offense will win. Having said all
of that, and going against my own advice to the Joker, I take AUBURN and the points as I believe that
the Tigers will win outright. I
know that I am really putting myself on the line here, considering my
on-going debate with Street Racer’s butt
buddy, but I have to call it like I see it and if I do win this one, it sure
does help to make my point. Let’s get it
done Tigers, and War Damn Eagle! 3 Kreuks.
Right back at you Gacer X.
-AUJclayton
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