 HA HA HA!! Awesome. Had you used some soap, maybe you would've beaten Vanderbilt...
So I sucked balls like Kyle Broflovski this weekend in the weekly Pick Em, but I seriously doubt anyone nailed a good percentage of a Top 25 Pick Em. So it got me thinking, why the hell am I doing the Top 25 Pick Em when I should just stick to a Top Ten that I actually have good feelings about, regardless of rank? Hey, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to, so the change shall be made. Here's the new Top 25, AP style:
1. Ohio State (57) 8-0 1,612 - Barely fended off Michigan State in the end; Not receiving much respect as #1; We'll see how they fare in Happy Valley next weekend. |
| 2. Boston College (2) 7-0 1,494 - The Golden Eagles just chilled this weekend, watching yet another mix-up in the Top 10. Next up they crack heads with the Hokies in Blacksburg. |
| 3. LSU (5) 7-1 1,479 - What a friggin game, eh hoser? I gotta admit, every time the Tigers Squared tumble against each other, it's a great game. I 'bout shit my pants when LSU's WR, can't remember who, caught the ball and flipped it over his head like a tard's version of the Hook and Ladder, right into Jerraud Powers' hands. Immediately, being a Bama fan, I thought okay, come the fuck on, how do they ALWAYS manage to get plays like this in their favor?, but lo and behold if Captain Asshat doesn't throw the ball up for grabs knowing a timeout and field goal is just fine. Boom goes the dynamite, kids. Les Miles may have a fivehead, but his balls are just as big. Great game. 'Twill make the upcoming Bama game with them all the more exciting in two weeks. |
| 4. Oklahoma 7-1 1,421 - Thanks for absolutely bombing against a terrible team, guys. I didn't need you to cover 30 against Iowa State or anything, much less that $100, especially considering the salary I'm throwing down these days. Damn Walter over at Walter Football for being right. Oh, I think I'm supposed to say he's the best bettor in the history of bettors now since LSU didn't cover the spread. But he thought AU was gonna win and I didn't, so suck on that. |
| 5. Oregon 6-1 1,355 - Jake Locker did an admirable job of keeping the Huskies within striking distance, but in the 4th quarter the Ducks ran away with the spoon. Oregon just continues to impress me with the offense they put up each game, and now a preseason Heisman name, Jonathan Stewart, has emerged as a viable threat, racking up 231 yards rushing and 2 TDs. |
| 6. West Virginia 6-1 1,228 - So the oddsmakers had the Mississippi State spread about right, but I still think the Mountaineers came away a little impressed with a lower tier SEC team that stuck in there till the end. WVU just has too much quickness, speed, and options on offense and special teams for them not to be a BCS contender. |
| 7. Arizona State (1) 7-0 1,156 - Another team on a bye, and the only remaining undefeated Pac 10 team, they're preparing for the California Bears next Saturday. |
| 8. Virginia Tech 6-1 1,111 - Didn't play, but will face Boston College at home on Thursday with both teams having an extra week to prepare. What's the betting rule most folks go by, take the live dog at home on an isolated game night like Thursday or Friday? We'll see if it works... |
| 9. USC 6-1 1,107 - Ha! They finally covered the spread, meaning the ex girlfriend came back and did that thing with her tongue. I knew not to kick her out of my life forever! Wow, with all the struggles USC has had with Washington, Stanford, and Arizona, what does that tell you about the quality of life happening in South Bend? Yeesh. |
| 9. Florida 5-2 1,107 - Tim Tebow, what can you do? Like I said earlier in the week, I'm glad we don't play Florida this year. They take on Georgia next, which probably means nobody knows what the hell is gonna happen. |
| 11. South Florida 6-1 980 - They gave it the old college try (snicker), but Ray Rice proved too much for the Bulls. A lot of people felt that Rutgers would pull it off, but it's not like it was a blowout. A couple of tough battles remain on the schedule, and I'm not so sure they'll come away with all victories. |
| 12. Kansas 7-0 960 - The Buffaloes did all they could but Kansas held them off to remain undefeated on the season. Next week they go knocking on Coach Franchione's door. I wonder who I'll be pulling for... |
| 13. Missouri 6-1 925 - Wow. For once it wasn't the Chase Daniel show, but Mizzou destroyed Texas Tech and proved, at least to me, they're no fluke. Sure Graham Harrell chunked it for 397 yards, but they picked him off four times---one more than he's had all season---and they put Michael Crabtree and his Heisman hopes in their back pocket, limiting him to a mere 76 yards and no TDs. That's impressive, kids. Crappy Iowa State is next, and I promise you one thing---I'm not betting on it. |
| 14. Kentucky 6-2 719 - The Wildcats have more fire than I give them credit for, as they battled a formidable Gator team with Mister Christian Oh His Time Has Come running and passing it all over the SEC. They couldn't hold off the talented Gators, losing 45-37, even though Coach Brooks bitched about oddsmakers making them a 7 point dog. Sometimes ya just need to keep your mouth closed. |
| 15. South Carolina 6-2 649 - Can you say trap game? We beat Vandy, and USCe lost to Vandy, but Georgia beat Vandy and Bama, but USCe beat Georgia...yep, that's how the SEC is this year. You just don't know who is going to win, even with "easy" calls. The Gamecocks look to regroup against a shattered and humbled and downtrodden and bitchslapped Tennessee team. |
| 16. Hawaii 7-0 573 - Who cares. God, I swear, Hawaii is like that neighbor kid when you were little who would ALWAYS show up right when you were about to do something fun, knowing you had to include him or your mom would take away your Nintendo privileges. Ugh, just go away already, we're going to ignore you anyway. |
| 17. Texas 5-2 497 - It took the Longhorns a while to finally pull away from Baylor, which means surely they'll get it all right when facing Nebraska...right? This might be the game to throw a wrench in the whole Callahan drama, keeping him around for longer than he should stay...oooor it might not, considering Callahan's classiness has been quoted as saying that Tom Osbourne is a "crusty old (expletive)". Man, I sure do love all those classy, quality coaches in the Big 12. I say Coach Fran and Coach Callahan face off in the ring to determine who gets to live, and when a winner is declared, throw a pissed off possum in the ring to finish up. I'd pay. |
| 18. California 5-2 444 - Lost to UCLA? For real? You better do more than throw to Desean Jackson to take down the Sun Devils next week. They're firing on all cylinders in route to a toss up Pac 10 championship. I can't blame them if they were looking ahead...maybe that will help them knock off ASU and get back into the picture. |
| 19. Michigan 6-2 401 - They're slowly getting it done, slowly moving back into the Big 10 picture, and slowly forgetting that dreadful start to the season. The next four games---Minnesota, at Michigan State, at Wisconsin, and Ohio State at home---are all winnable. Can they pull it off and surprise everyone but themselves? Probably. I've yet to look at true freshman and much hyped recruit Donovan Warren, but I DVR'd the game and look forward to it. |
| 20. Georgia 5-2 394 - Had a week to rest and get ready for Florida. Don't count Georgia out of this one, although Florida has OWNED them in this series since 1990, winning 15 of 17! One would think that Florida this and Florida that, but go ahead and look over the carnage in the SEC East; they ALL have two losses or more. Anything can happen here. |
| 21. Virginia 7-1 315 - Ready for this? The Cavaliers have won their last three games by a TOTAL of FOUR POINTS. As Big Boi said, "go on and marinate on that for a minute." What a craptastic schedule they have, and their only loss was against the mighty Wyoming Cowboys?? Damn these polls. |
| 22. Alabama 6-2 263 - Sweet. Back in the Top 25. Oh snap, swisher sweet---ahead of Auburn! After beating up on Tennessee like that, I think we deserve this spot, sure. We're right behind LSU in the SEC West, and guess who we play next? But that's in two weeks...what the hell am I supposed to do next weekend... |
| 23. Auburn 5-3 248 - ...watch Auburn play Ole Miss or something? Well, I've got one word of advice, Tigers. Stop the run so you can cherry pick the tossups Seth Adams willingly throws. Arky did it this weekend and picked him off four times; and hell, maybe one of their receivers will toss one over his shoulder to you again, you never know. Just be sure to cover the back of the end zone at the end of the game. |
| 24. Penn State 6-2 209 - This is Walter's team, and frankly, who cares. They lost to both teams in this weekend's Michigan/Illinois battle, and next the #1 Buckeyes roll into town. I'm starting to lean towards Coach Sweater Vest, cuz I think he purposely called in the game at MSU to preserve his players and some plays. Although honestly, I wouldn't mind if the Nittany Lions dethroned the beans so things get even cloudier at the top. We shall see. |
25. Rutgers 5-2 174 - The Scarlet Knights took down the #2 USF Bulls Thursday night as they try to keep their Big East hopes alive against a deadly WVU attack next Saturday at home. Not an easy task, especially with WVU playing well as of late. If they pull off the upset, they have a good chance of running the table.
Like I said before, a new Pick Em format will be coming next week. One in which I can hopefully reach that 90% plateau that will be my nemesis for life otherwise. Kinda like McFlurries at McDonalds...I can't stop eating those! And now they say the machine's broken? Poppycock, I say. Anywho, viva la Tide, enjoy next weekend off, and let's home you come out blazing so we can make a run at the SEC title...with Coach Shula's players, no less. 'Til then, my friends. |
This girl just ain't ugly...
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